LL cool J

March 20th, 2006

07:11 pm - i need some input
so a couple of months ago i agreed to go to a family reunion in the black hills at my grandparents. i missed the reunion a couple years ago and i like a lot of my relatives on that side of the family. i miss my grandparents place in the hills so i thought it would be fun. also, amanda, my sort of step-sister was going to be coming so my family was going to take an RV on a nice like brady bunch roadtrip. on top of that amanda sent me a myspace message today saying how excited she is for this trip. damnit. usually i wouldn't be all for this but i don't see my family much anymore.

i promised many of my friends from in fargo they could stay at my house the weekend of warped tour. i figured we'd go to warped, valleyfair, twins games, and party at my house. it would be a rad time because i probably won't have a chance to see my pals much this summer.

then i realized...both of these are supposed to take place the same weekend in june.

i don't know what to do. i don't want to let down my family and have everyone at the reunion once again asking where the hell i am. but i also promised my friends a place to stay and it would be a kickass time.

if anyone has advice, i really need some. i hafta make my decision soon and i'm torn.
Current Mood:

confused
Current Music: deftones

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

March 18th, 2006

11:38 am - too much time for overanalyzing the insignificant
arizona was quite the experience. for the most part everyone got along well. there was plenty of drinking and inside jokes galore. the weather could have been nicer in the begining, but still 60-some degrees in the sun by a pool in a different atmosphere is worth it. it was an excellent break from school.

lately i've been disappointed with the way my personality has a taken a detour. the words coming out of my mouth are dripping with insolence and irrelevance. it's like i'm trying to impress people with worthless stories to build myself up to be cool. it just comes out and i can't seem to stop it. i guess i just need to rethink my tactics and realize my friends are already there and there is no need to show off.

this break has started to get far too long. hours upon hours in the car to think about every little situation and analyze it's meaning. i need school, i need structure, i need something to keep me busy so i don't dwell on it all. i'm happy with life and i can't complain too much, i just get frustrated with myself. i don't understand why i'm this way. i always hold off for the best a look where it has taken me. i want to be with someone so bad but i reject all that flocks toward me. i need to lighten up and realize even though it might not be perfect or last forever, i need to give it a shot.

i recieved some texts from someone for the first time in months, i just can't decide if i can go back to that again. i know what he wants.

i agree with all, i picked up the new mogwai and it was amazing as always. they will be in minneapolis the day before my birfday, who's takin me on a b-day date? hah.

anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW FAUST!!
Current Mood:

frustrated
Current Music: incubus

March 17th, 2006

10:50 pm - your benz is running....get in get in, he's black
kelly and i are sober sallys.

Perkyegg: i got hoes in different area codes
Perkyegg: you're 55311

damn it feels good to be a gangsta

ain't he charming^^^

ooooooooooooh skeet skeet motherfuckahhh.

photobuxket

rutabagafest97: im pretty lame
rutabagafest97: well you've gotta work towards that goal
rutabagafest97: but at least im charming
rutabagafest97: it takes a couple years for me to become likable
rutabagafest97: and here ia m
rutabagafest97: its okay
rutabagafest97: man, you're stickin it to em
rutabagafest97: did you do double time?
rutabagafest97: so i was ...
rutabagafest97: slow
rutabagafest97: ;-)
rutabagafest97: orange
rutabagafest97: hand lotion
rutabagafest97: anus
rutabagafest97: what about d-o-g-o-b-g-y-n
rutabagafest97: wondershowzen
rutabagafest97: dog gyno
rutabagafest97: i absolutely love that
rutabagafest97: he ripped the baby out
rutabagafest97: i love him
rutabagafest97: so lovely
rutabagafest97: So you're quoting me then eh?
rutabagafest97: i dont want to play your dirty games!
rutabagafest97: project x
rutabagafest97: the biggest lie
rutabagafest97: lets do something else
rutabagafest97: ice cream
rutabagafest97: adapted floor hockey team
rutabagafest97: flip flappy
rutabagafest97: hippy happy
rutabagafest97: billy club

we need friends.

RA RA RA RRREEEEEMIXXXX

kbye.

Current Music: LFO "summer girls"

March 7th, 2006

01:26 pm - please, don't pick up chicks with text messages
just listened to some old old dashboard. takes me back to 8th grade and that drunk time over winter break we all sang screaming infedelities at chad's. hah.

kirby puckett died of a massive stroke. makes me miss watching and playing baseball all the time growing up.

GO SOUTH DAKOTA!!!! http://www.startribune.com/484/story/289390.html

survey thing...

I AM: wondering why i stayed up so late eating cereal and reading the newspaper when i had 8AM class

I WANT: the next two days of studying to be over

I HAVE: syphilis, jk. my brother's pants on

I WISH: i could make out with somone right now

I HATE: photosynthesis

I MISS: warm weather and work

I FEAR: spiders

I HEAR: the insanely loud wind

I REGRET: spending money so frivilously lately

I LOVE: peanut m&ms

I AM NOT: awake. damnit.

I DANCE: when i'm drunk and by myself

I SING: in my car, to myself, and if he music is playing loud enough that you can't really hear me

I CRY: about dumb things and don't cry about things you would expect someone to

I WIN: at life?

I LOST: my gloves katie gave me :(

I CONFUSE: everyone

I NEED: to dye my hair back to blonde soon and start packing

I SHOULD: change before class cause my sweatshirt smells gross

forcast for phoenix while we're there: POOOOOOOP! damnit. but if i know anything about meteorologists, it's that they are almost always wrong.
Current Mood:

tired
Current Music: nothing. just the loud fuggin wind

March 4th, 2006

04:26 pm - you wark up in pordugal
being blunt is fun. i told the singer/guitarist in clair de lune that i thought he was very attractive last night. no, this was not drunk girl talk. hah. i should just be honest more often, who cares.

man i was full of quotes last night.

people log rolling over you right when you fall asleep is LAME.

only five more days till AZ. aww shiet.

i'm hungies. time to go play footsie with jake in the dining center.
Current Mood: i feel like a dungeon
Current Music: new DTF

March 1st, 2006

12:40 am - eight assiduous days until revival
i have always had a strong will and self motivation due to growing up rather independently in my household. i've always had a drive in me to succeed and set high standards for myself. no, i have never been perfect. but i always set realistic goals for myself, partially in order to feel some sense of worth. my senior year of high school was when i finally stretched my potential in keeping up with rather taxing classes. entering college, i set up those same standards for myself, despite the different atmosphere and challenge. first semester i had a strict studying schedule and my grades reflected the hours of effort i had inflicted upon myself. these last couple months have passed quickly and the energy i am putting in doesn't seem to be paying off. i'm not a science whiz or a philosophy extraordinaire but i can't bring myself to accept these downfalls. i get everything done on time; some things just don't click with everyone. i dwell on my current grade standings everyday, grades most people would be pleased to recieve. i can't decide if i am glad i put this pressue on myself for so long. is it worth this inadequacy? it's hard trying to live up to the bar i set for myself. it's time to get over that i can't always outdo the past. tonight i stayed in and got the rest of my reading done for the exams i have over a week away. hopefully more reviewing will lead to a more satisfying outcome this time around.

last weekend was fun. talking to joey b and matt for the first time in almost a couple years(besides randomly running into them in cozumel) was great. we've all gone in opposite directions and turned into very different people but that fact they were so extatic when i surprised them felt awesome. the weekend brought back good memories.

arizona is going to be amazing. i'm not expecting some unrealistic trip where we get along the entire time, have incredible weather, and meet some hott boys. hah. if we argue, if it rains, if it's not same as everyone has built it up to be, it doesn't really matter. i was thinking earlier today about each of the attributes that make my friends important to me. just being with awesome people even makes me look forward to the miniscule downfalls. spring break would be far too long if i spent it all at home working and lounging. a road trip with friends is better than any fancy vacation. i can't wait.

time for some cough medicine with codene. yum.

<3 burned butt leah
Current Mood:

excited
Current Music: isis

February 24th, 2006

01:07 pm - gonna punch a bitch
i have seen the episode of "true life: i'm jealous" far too many times. high maintenance girls piss me off so much. yeah, your boyfriend cheated and you cheated on him a couple years ago. bitch, get over it or break it off. stop with your coniving schemes and whining like a twelve year old. the girls are bugging their boyfriends everyday and calling them 24/7 to see what they are doing. you think you're relationship is stronger by being overprotective. no. it's about trust. not that i'm saying cheating isn't a serious problem, but needy girls have some serious issues.

every week i think i am prepared for my philosophy quiz, but nope still D's across the board. this semester is getting frustrating.

13 days till arizona. i can't wait. it's not gonna be extremely hott but 75 degrees is much better than 0.

i may or may not be home next friday. hmm. i'll for sure be home march 15-19th. who will be around/home from school?

karen's new hair is hott.

naptime.

February 22nd, 2006

10:07 pm - CAUTION: it's not gonna get much better than this
waking up from a nightmare is always such a great sense of relief.
opening your eyes and realizing the perfect night you had was just a figment of your imagination is tragic.

i've been contemplating next year a lot recently. it's been my dream forever to live in england in order to have the opportunities to travel and become immersed in a different culture instead of living in this joke. after visiting london a couple years back, i knew i would love it there. i've been drawn back by the possibility of my best friend not joining me anymore and the fact next year may be the last time i'll get to be around my new found friends. many of them will be seniors, then probably move on the better things after next school year. should these reasons stand in my way? i'm feeling like i'd be missing out on so much socializing here, but i'd probably learn a lot more and grow as a person if i got away. it's only a semester right?

i think i'm building a caffine dependency. i had coffee/tea/diet coke at least a couple times a day. i don't get headaches but i feel so worn without it.

i listened to bright eyes for the first time today since august. it reminded me of cloves, tubing with jj, campfires, car rides, jeff's house, porch swings, and drunkeness. i hated BE with a passion by the end of summer, but it brings back good memories...i want a lover i don't have to love, i want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk.

i want to play with a toddler. not a baby, not a bratty 5 year old. a toddler. not in a sick way either. they are just so effin cute.

lyndsey and i are venturing to grand forks this weekend to see the lovely angela. i guess there will be quite the MG todd crew up there too. yesss. i can't wait.

nighters.
Current Mood: wishing i was in willmar
Current Music: nodes of ranvier/btbam

February 20th, 2006

01:11 am - i'm going to bed earlier then if i had school tomorrow. weird.
i deleted my last entry. it was just dumb. then again they all are.

kelly, let's go to your cabin otherwise i'm sueing your dad for running into my luxury vehicle last weekend.

i feel like having a dance party in my dorm...with myself.

i hope things aren't going to be awkward now. life would be really boring if i didn't hang out there anymore.

so my mom and brother are having a rocky time in australia. they are both stubborn and keep getting in fights. my mom wants to fly back early. i really hope they start getting along, it would be such a shame if my mom had put so much money into this and then has a horrible time. i've heard both sides of the story, but they just need to look past their problems and make the best of it.

i want to figure out how to rule the game of jenga.

watch "the constant gardener." so good yet very sad.

i have a headache i'm so tired.
Current Mood:

tired
Current Music: the kinison/kane hodder

February 19th, 2006

11:51 am - i already know the inevitable
FIRST REAL BEST FRIEND:
bethany manning when we were 2 and we're still friends to this day

FIRST ELEMENTARY SCHOOL:
fernbrook

FIRST CELL PHONE:
some old nokia one everyone had

FIRST FUNERAL:
i've been to a wake for a family friend, that's about it

FIRST PET:
pumpernickle a tabby kitty

FIRST BIG TRIP:
black hillz

FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH?
george clooney when i was 9, i was passionate about him

FIRST JOB:
great clips bitch

FIRST MYSPACE FRIEND:
tom, but he doesn't count. so i guess it was jake.

LASTS:

LAST PERSON YOU HUGGED:
abers

LAST CAR RIDE:
this morning at about 3am wif myself

LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
friday, when i had a lame-o panic attack

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED.
old willy wonka (weird karen weird)

LAST FOOD YOU ATE:
buffalo wing wingz last night

LAST SHIRT WORN:
a thermal one. derrr.

LAST PHONE CALL:
paul

LAST TEXT MESSAGE?
scottie

LAST THING YOU TOUCHED:
my phone

LAST TIME AT THE MALL:
moa last weekend

LAST TIME YOU WERE EXCITED FOR SOMETHING:
umm i was excited for chucks party last night

LAST PERSON YOU SAW:
everyone at chucks. idk.

LAST THING YOU DRANK:
h2O

LAST TIME YOU WERE REALLY HONESTLY HAPPY?
yesterday. there are some downers but i'm still overall happy with everything usually

time to watch a movie. this was pointless. haha.
Current Mood:

blank
Current Music: mum

February 18th, 2006

12:03 pm - your myspace is quite the turn-off
it's nice when my roomate is gone. this means i can sit around in my undies.

i had a panic attack yesterday. best part is, i was freaking out about losing my graphing calculator when it was pretty much sitting right next to me.

movie marathon with myself tomorrow.

i want to work and hang out with the pf changs crew. it's been too long.

the weather here is finally not so unbearable. the last few days it was -45 with windchill. gross.

gonna hang with dana dotty and minot matt today. i'm eggcited.

p.s. i miss faust
Current Mood:

chipper
Current Music: my tummy grumblin

February 16th, 2006

11:41 am - the midwest is a tease
for some reason i seem to not like the idea of going home for the weekend, but once i'm there, it's not so bad. it's gotton to the point where my weekend ends up being full of seeing people i miss and using our time together the the fullest. i had sushi for the first time on friday with kelly, it was very good. probably because we didn't get anything gross like eel. i'm glad i went home to see my brother off. we don't always get along but i'm still so excited for his opportunity to live in australia. saturday night was a little awkward yet fun. it was the first time i had been to segue since high school. it's weird to think back on how much time i spent there and what a hot spot it was back in the day. it also reminded me of why i'm glad to be out of maple grove. i did get to see some awesome people (kd the hawk, jackie a, faust, ben, etc.) but then there were so many young "scenesters" there, i wanted to puke. i hate to see that being "scene" has become such a trend in maple grove. i hate the catty attitudes of some girls there, stop acting like you're better then everyone. anyways, the rest of the night was fun. hanging with the boys like old times. hah. karen and i had coffee on sunday. we had an awesome talk and i wish i'd hung out with her more last year.

mum is probably the best thing since sigur ros, maybe better. go iceland.

i have little hw this weekend yet i have 3 days off. i think i'm gonna rent a bunch of movies that i've been wanting to see. my dorm is also in desperate need of a cleaning. oh yeah, chris, matt, and dana will be in town. f-yeah.

why do i always have the sniffles? my cold never seems to go away. thank you dormitories.

if you eat 3 quarts of sugar or 1 quart of salt in one day you have a 50% chance of dying. sweet.

i wanna go to fat camp. looks like fun.

bye.
Current Mood:

hopeful
Current Music: halloween, alaska

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

February 10th, 2006

10:37 am - hakuna matata
i attended disney on ice for free last night. the theme was 3 jungle adventures(lion king, tarzan, & the jungle book). it was pretty amazing. i'm sure we were the only 4 people there without children.

i am probably going to lake havasu in arizona for spring break. we'll only be there for 4 nights but the 30 hour car ride there and back will be adventurous. my dad isn't so fond of the idea that i might be the only girl but whatever. i can't wait. warm weather, jet skis, boating, and getting crunked.

welp, time for a quiz then making my way home thru the snow. i get my car! yay.

Current Mood:

bouncy
Current Music: explosions in the sky

February 8th, 2006

02:16 am - so sick of this pink heart jubilee
wow, some people need to recognize a rejection when it's straight it their face. i'm not affectionate back when you touch me that way or say those inappropraite things to me over the internet. i'm not just some piece of ass you can touch when you please. stop getting mad at me when i deny you. it's not my fault. you need to look at yourself and realize you're going about things the wrong way. get over yourself and stop objectifying all your little girlfriends. this may have gotton you ass in the past, but it will take you nowhere from here on out.

a decision has been made, i'm going to be straight forward about things from now on. it could make things awkward for the time being but i don't have that much to lose at this point. there is too much evidence supporting my hypothesis.

i have been so upbeat the entire day. i potenitally bombed my bio test that i spent hours upon hours studying for. screw biomolecules, i'll never need you. i discovered a new pet peeve today too. it's okay to have a little repitition and overlapping between my courses but this is getting ridiculous. i already took anthropology & psych, now sociology & criminology seem to just be going over the same concepts. i am so sick of darwin/freud i might just scream. if i hear the words id, ego, or superego uttered once more this week i might just slit my throat. anyways, i got a parking permit in a lot near my dorm which was unexpected. i got a A on my math test even though i put a question mark for one of the eight questions. i worked out again today. i found a ride home this weekend. paul and i got tipsy and had some great convos and went to taco bell. today has been superb.

lyndsey is coming tomorrow. yippee. i miss her.

so valentines is coming up, best holiday of the year by far. not. way to go hallmark. your marketing scheme has worked. manipulate people into buying cards and gifts for their loved ones so you make money when really the majority end up feeling inadequate. why do couples feel the need to profess their love this day during the year? if you really cared and had true feelings, you would surprise your loved one on any given day. but as usual, we all conform to social norms and can't seem to escape this neverending cycle.

i'm going home again this weekend. to:
a) go on a date with kelly to comedy sports
b) take my broham and ma mere to the airport
c) get coffee with k and j
d) throwdown with ben kippley?

time for some beauty sleep.

i'll leave you all with this, listen to more bone thugz n harmony, it will do your mind and soul some good. haha. i definitely sang some thug luv in the shower today. ok goodnight.

lubadubdub,
leah

Current Mood:

cheerful
Current Music: brazil/discover america

(21 comments | Leave a comment)

February 1st, 2006

01:15 am - this coma kiss is infinite
i have waited, wasted, and longed to see someone for the last 3 days. i kept getting my hopes up that they would arrive. then i got the devistating news that they would not be stopping in fargo while passing through. jen lehrke, you had my heart, then you crinkled it, tore it in half, jumped on it, soaked it in your urine, and then ate it. i hate you forever.

it's weird how conditioning works and how over time it can elicit a certain response. back at home, whenever i heard a hard knock at my bedroom door while i was sleeping i would always get a feeling of urgency and suddenly be overcome with a feeling of fear and anger. my heart would race and i would be startled. this would either be because a) my dad was mad at me for oversleeping or b) my brother was being an ass and would pound on the door just to spite me. whenever i hear banging on doors in my hall these feelings instantly hit. it is the worst when the girl across the hall bangs on my door everyday. it's like im bipolar. no matter what i'm doing, i suddenly get very jittery/anxious/scared. thanks mike and ryan for starting this up. i want it to go away. damn you brain.

i bought an ugly brown hat at savers for 99 cents, but it's awesome because it has little bear ears. i think it's meant for a toddler but i'm wearing it all the time.

last weekend was a success while home. much better then i had been anticipating. i got to see ben kipps for the first time in months.

wed night= neon winderbreaker outfits, fanny packs, chocolate-chip pancakes, and bartels & james

kellers almost missed her first day of classes, what a goon.

go to this site, this is kinda funny... http://www.youtube.com/w/My-interpretation?v=bQzCtO8XoGo&search=Panic%20At%20The%20Disco%20PATD

i missed nickleback in fargo tonight. it's time to go cry myself to sleep.
peach out.
leggies

Current Mood:

awake
Current Music: boys night ouuuttttttttttt

January 27th, 2006

12:57 pm - f-in bitches

so i love thermal shirts and i had just invested in a new one from urban over break. it was still in it's nice fuzzy state and i had it drying on the line in the laundry room the other day. big mistake. i walk down there today...gone. i'm quite upset. my roomate said she's gonna kill if she sees the stealer wearing it this weekend while i'm home.

dying my hair again tonight. i'm leaving the blondish poo on top but redish-brown or chocolate brown underneath?

happy birfday rainizzle! i hope you have a great day.

i love wheat bagels and cream cheese.

toodles.

Current Mood:

energetic
Current Music: dillinger escape plan

January 23rd, 2006

01:52 pm - aliens and rim jobs, story of my life

screw taste of chaos, suck my bawls emery/june/hawthorne heights, minus the bear is coming to fargo in april. that made my day. i am very happy.

i dyed paul's mowhawk neon green last night. it is awesome.

in other news, i might be home the next 2 weekends. get your party pants on.

i love clean sheets. they are calling my name for an afternoon nap.

Current Mood:

bored
Current Music: mogwai